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The True Dreamers

Tag Archives: dream

On The Brink of Failure

17 Tuesday Dec 2019

Posted by Larry in Dream Actions

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brink, dream, failure, losing, poker

It’s strange but I have been meaning to write this blog post for quite a few weeks now. Weeks turned into two months so it feels good tapping my thumb prints onto the smooth keyboard keys.

Let’s wind back the clock a few months to August 31st of this year. It was technically the first of September but the derailment had started late in the evening of the 31st. It was now the first of a new month after a fairly regular all night poker session. The worst session of my poker life to be exact. I had a really nasty start to my cash session and was much more than 1k deep into the game. After some nasty pot holes earlier in the session I had kicked the tires back onto the smooth roads of a beautifully scenic comeback. That’s when the car was set to crash into a gigantic oak that was two very overplayed monster hands. To make the long story short I basically gave away all the money I had gained back and then some. I was felted twice in two major hands and the table fur had swallowed me like a green hole of death. But in the end it was really my play, not the felt nor the cards, that was my unraveling. I should have played two hands much safer which was totally prudent considering both game theory and logical deductions from these villain player behaviors.

In the end I found myself at home, after the biggest losing session of my life, on the brink of failure which was my professional poker career. After coming home at 6am I couldn’t sleep and felt compelled, although mentally kicking and screaming like a tantrum infused child, to search for a disgusting corporate job to slam me back into the wall of reality.

When my wife awoke and asked what I was doing my tear ducts began to flow like a steady dripping spigot. I explained what I was doing and we had a short discussion. It was brief as she was preparing to get ready for work, as she always has for years on Sunday morning. The gist of the conversation was that I was coming to the realization I just might not have the patience and discipline to make consistently what I knew were strategically proper decisions day in and day out, hand after hand. Poker, if you let it, can be like a long standing stretch in the hole of solitary confinement. Only you and your thoughts agonizing about what went wrong and wondering how you can survive each forthcoming minute, hour, day, week, and month.

Forgive me for leaving a little cliff hanger here, like buttery hands digging into a steep cliff’s crevice, but the post has already become too lengthy. You will just have to stick around and anticipate my next post which will reveal much more about how I moved forward from this fulcrum of fear.

Until next time, Smile Big and Dream Bigger!

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All In or All Out!

21 Tuesday May 2019

Posted by Larry in Dream Thoughts

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All In, dream, Dream Big, poker, poker pro, professional poker player

So maybe you are wondering where I have been. No I have not disappeared off the face of the earth like an incinerated alien. I have been working my ass off to be successful at my dream job.

When I first started officially living my dream of playing poker full time I foolishly believed I could work on other business endeavors to make money during my poker downswings. I found out the hard way that during a downswing it’s a must to double down on your efforts when things are not going your way. No we are not truly doubling down as we are talking poker not blackjack. If you want to be truly successful at any endeavor, especially one that has a certain percentage of luck, you need to be willing to work even harder to learn your craft and grow through study and practice. In other words, to move forward with your dream without backsliding down the muddy hill of adversity, you have to go All In! You have to be willing to commit every ounce of effort you have to the task at hand. You have to be willing to stick every chip you have into the center of the felt.

The task at hand for me, is my dream of supporting myself and my family through poker income. You can’t go half ass at something as difficult as the high variance career of a professional poker player. Heck, they should probably change the name to professional poker worker. Who are we kidding, this in’t playing this is working! Despite all that, this is the work I truly love. This profession is going to test you like a AP Calculus exam. You better be prepared or your plan is going to be demolished. Like the famous Mike Tyson said… “Everybody has a plan until they are punched in the face!”

My plan has taken some hair pin twist and turns but I have gone ALL IN on my efforts to becoming a successful poker pro. It’s no cruise control for me as that undoubtedly leads to failure. I have a death grip on the wheel and my palms are sweating but I’m not going to let the winding road get the best of me. I don’t want to backslide and have to go back to the corporate world with my tail between my legs. I want to be standing proud on the dream stage when they open the curtain. So it is time to end this post as I have much more poker study to do and many more hours to work on the felt. While I will try to post more often here I can’t make any guarantees. Do you want to be a success at that one thing you have been dreaming about doing? Then you have to make a choice… you can be ALL IN or ALL OUT! As for me, I think you know which one I choose. Until then, I will see you at the final dream table. Smile Big and Dream Bigger!!

I finally did it! I quit my job to pursue my dream!!

08 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by Larry in Dream Actions

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dream, dream bigger, freedom, living the dream, poker

April 2nd was my last day in corporate America. On my first day walking through the rarely traveled dream path, I posted the following on my Facebook page:

I’ve always been fond of the Latin phrase Carpe Diem. My affection for the phrase, however, for a very long time now felt mostly like this utopian idea to aspire to.
Yesterday, however, I put that idea into action. After working in Corporate America for over 20 years, I have decided to step away to pursue other endeavors I have been dreaming about for a very long time. I am extremely grateful that I was able to work for such an amazing company over the last 20 years. I learned a lot while working there and it shaped who I am today. While I will miss regularly seeing many of the friends I have made over the years in corporate America I am very excited about the opportunity before me to try working my dream job.

Some may question my choice, but I am lucky to have the love and support of my closest friends and family. My wife’s faith in me and my ideas for a future career of self-employment have been instrumental in me building up the necessary courage to move forward. Outside of her love for me and the children she gave birth to for us, it is the greatest gift I could have ever asked for. Sure, I have some fears about taking this leap of faith, but these fears are much less than the fear of future regret. Without me moving forward with this decision, my elderly self may have looked back on my life with disappointment for not taking this opportunity to try to succeed at this specific dream of mine.
For those of you who may be worried for me and my family… Don’t Be! I have been planning for yesterday’s developments for many years now and I have taken all the necessary steps to provide financial stability for me and my family as I pursue my dream.

I believe it was Wayne Gretzky who said… “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Well the time has come for me to take my shot. I feel I have developed the skills and done the necessary planning to score many goals moving forward.

My last boss was a huge fan of Steve Jobs’ quotes, so I will leave you with this… “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Carpe Diem!!

Going forward, my blog posts on this page will detail the journey of staying on the dream path, hopefully without having to u-turn back to Corporate America. I hope to post more as I share my future success in the poker world. When people ask me how I am doing, and I say… “living the dream,” I can now say it with confidence that I truly mean it. Untill the next post, Smile big and dream bigger. I know I am!!

The Last Mile of the Dream Marathon

24 Thursday Aug 2017

Posted by Larry in Dream Actions

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dream, dreams, finish, finish line

All the pillars are in place, the ducks are lined up, the room is set, and the band ready to roll. While I have not reached the finish line just yet, I can see the dream signpost up ahead and the finish line tape waiting for me to bust through.

I have reached my financial goal to take the leap of faith and pursue my dream. I have the cushion necessary to give myself at least one year to succeed at this dream I have patiently been waiting to plunge into. The closer I get, the more I hope to reveal through this blog. Stick around; you don’t want to miss me smiling big and dreaming bigger at the finish line.

The Dream Accelerated

19 Sunday Mar 2017

Posted by Larry in Dream Actions

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accelerate, dream, goals

Recently, I have been setting clearer goals to try and accelerate my course towards the dream finish line. If you read my blog regularly, or as regularly as I post which is not much recently, you know that playing poker professionally is part of that dream. Goal setting is always a key component of successfully realizing your end game.

Some of the goals I have set myself include making sure I track all poker cash sessions, playing on a more regular schedule, and ensuring I have enough hours of play to validate potential future success. Right now, I am playing poker twice a week and have a very good hourly rate. I have set for myself a bankroll goal which I plan to have going into the World Series of Poker in June. And finally,I have been regularly studying various poker resources to improve my game. If you have a dream, you have to work hard to get there. I am taking a better and more efficient path by being more diligent about my work ethic.

This renewed commitment has allowed me to plug a few key leaks in my game and has accelerated my results from pace car to speed racer. At times my play has been spectacular to the point of not recognizing the poker player I have become. I am still getting comfortable with my new poker skin but it is sure starting to feel more comfy. That comfort demonstrates that I am that much closer smiling big and dreaming bigger.

The Dream Fulfillment Litmus Test

07 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by Larry in Dream Thoughts

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dream, just this, litmus test, living room show, Mike Doughty

00000-litmus-testLast night I attended the Mike Doughty living room show in Arizona. Many don’t know Mike Doughty by name alone but he got his claim to fame as the lead singer of the band Soul Coughing in the mid 90’s. In the last 15 years or so, he has had a pretty successful, although flying mostly under the radar, solo career. Last night was the second time I have seen him play at a living room show. This type of show is just as it sounds; He plays a very intimate show in somebody’s living room with no more than 30 attendees.

During his first set of living room shows in 2015 some feedback was given to him about his overly shy nature. In an intimate setting such as a living room show, it should have allowed for much more interaction with the crowd. Since Mike didn’t want to get overly involved in a conversation, as it was still a music show after all, he decided to add a question jar to his 2016 living room show tour. This was a jar in which many folks in the room could add a question to. Throughout the show, he agreed to periodically answer the jar questions from the crowd. Many of the questions were interesting, unique, and funny.

The most interesting question, at least for me, was the following… “What would you rather be doing right now?” And there it was, the question that every dreamer should be asking him or herself. Mike gave the answer that I think most individuals with a fulfilled dream should give. His answer was…. “Just This.” He did decide to incorporate a funny addition, “…and maybe a pizza right here”, pointing to the table just to the side of him.

And there you have it. The litmus test revealed. If somebody asks you what you would rather be doing and the answer is “just this,” than it is most likely that your dream has been fulfilled. Here’s hoping you will one day be able to say, “just this” and smile big while you realize there is no need, at least for now, to dream bigger.

My Turn, My Dream: Next Man Up

17 Monday Nov 2014

Posted by Larry in Dream Thoughts

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$10 Million, attitude, Bruce Arians, desire, dream, Martin Jacobson, Next Man Up, Phil Jackson, Super Bowl, World Series of Poker

00000 2014 wsop 2This past week I have been an observer of one man dream’s coming to fruition, and one team heading in the direction of their dreams. Who would have thought that a man which almost quit poker could become the World Series of Poker Main Event Champ? Who would have thought that one of the worst football franchises could be having a dream season with a backup quarterback and individuals severely injured or out at their positions.

I am talking about Martin Jacobson and I am also talking about the Arizona Cardinals. Martin Jacobson was the next man up for the Poker Championship and the Cardinals are relying on the Next Man Up philosophy to pave the way to be the first team ever to play in a Super Bowl in their own city.

I can’t help but get energized by these two stories. Thanks to my wife, who is an angel, I was lucky enough to be able to attend and watch the World Series of Poker Main Event final table in person. To see one man win $10 Million playing a game of cards is indescribable. Some would say its just dumb luck, but others who know better (I include myself in this category), realize that there is a reason some folks can make millions of dollars consistently beating the game while others can’t find a way to win under almost any circumstances.

As for the Arizona Cardinals, there is not that much talent difference between the worst team and the best team in the NFL. Don’t believe me?? How can a team that has been so bad for so long bring in a coach and 2 years later be the best team in the league. It’s all about attitude and desire. The attitude to believe it can be done under any conditions and the desire to do it on a team level even with some bench players. It’s the next man up to play that has to deliver the effort of the starter so they can participate in a team effort to continue the win streak. It’s not about one individuals efforts, its about team wins under adverse conditions. This is the attitude that Bruce Arians has brought to the Valley of the Sun. If you ever wonder how coaches can be fired when they don’t play the game, the Cardinals are showing you why. A good coach creates a great team. Just ask Phil Jackson who teaches his team meditation and visualization. There is a reason he is thought of as one of the best coaches ever in the NBA.000000 Next Man Up

So as I see it, it’s my turn. It’s my dream that is due to be fulfilled with enough effort, attitude, and determination. I AM the Next Man Up. Smiling Big and Dreaming Bigger all the way to the Main Event Final Table. Look for me soon on an ESPN poker broadcast near you.

One Baby Step Closer to Living My Dream

07 Saturday Jun 2014

Posted by Larry in Dream Actions

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daily tournaments, dream, Main Event, poker, poker tournament, professional poker player, Rio, The Hendon Mob, The One Drop, World Series of Poker

0000 2014 wsopIn case you forgot, one of my main dreams is to become a professional poker player. Last weekend I traveled to Las Vegas during the World Series of Poker. Most individuals that don’t really know much about poker don’t realize, depending on the year, there can be up to 60 bracelet events. When the layman thinks of the World Series of Poker, the only event that usually comes to mind is the $10,000 Main Event. This year, there are actually 65 bracelet events. For almost all amateur poker players, winning a bracelet event is a lifelong dream. I went to Vegas hoping to fulfill this same dream although I knew it was quite a long shot.

My plan for this trip was to win my way into Event #8, which is also known as the “Millionaire Maker Event.” As you can guess, it is titled this because the winner is guaranteed $1 Million. This is one of only three events that the winner will become a millionaire if they are not already. The other two are the “One Drop” which costs a Million Dollars just to enter and the Main Event. You must be thinking, who has a Million Dollars just to enter an event. The top 25 professional poker players in the world, that’s who. The buy in to Event #8 is $1,500. I could have just bought into it as anybody can, but I have not been playing as regularly as I should for somebody who wants to win a World Series of Poker bracelet. Because of this, winning my way in was the plan. Yes, as much as I hate to say it, life sometimes gets in the way of chasing our dreams. For me, this should only be temporary.

I flew into Vegas after work on Thursday night and by Friday evening the cash games were not treating me well. I was actually playing okay, but just wasn’t getting the cards and it is hard to bluff unwise amateurs in a low level cash game. So by about 9pm Friday night I only had a few hundred dollars in my bankroll and was worried I wouldn’t have enough funds to finish play a lot more hours without visiting the one machine in Vegas which always pays out… The ATM machine.

The Rio has daily deep stack tournaments and at about 9:30pm I decided to enter the 10pm tournament and figured at least I would get a few good hours of play without having to lose more than $135, since that was the entry fee. By 9:50pm I had my entry in hand and was getting prepared for the trite call to “shuffle up and deal.” So there are was, grinding it out and continuing my streak of almost no cards but picking up about 1 big hand every 1.5 hours. Pocket Aces, win a nice pot. Ace King, win a nice pot. Pocket Queens, win a nice pot. Almost 5 hours into the tournament I had a larger than average chip stack and all the players left (about 30) were getting closer to cashing in the event. The event had 204 entries and the top 21 got paid. I wont get into all the gory details but at about 5am, we were still playing and I was at the final table. There were no TV cameras, the poker room of over 200 tables was almost empty due to the late hour, and most of the people in the room were only the staff and a few cash game players. Despite that, to me this was important. I was already guaranteed to make money since the person out in 10th place would get $387 but I was shooting for the $5,306 first prize. This would guarantee my ability to enter the Millionaire Maker event. Like I was running all tournament, I was card dead except for 1 hand an hour. Despite being short stacked, I was able to outlast a few of the big stacks at the final table. Believe it or not, I can’t even remember how I was knocked out of the tournament. Maybe it had to do with the late hour or the multiple games I had played after the tournament since I was in Vegas until Monday afternoon. I was, however, proud to ultimately go out in 5th place and win $1,298.

This wasn’t really the big time but I did outlast 200 players. Nobody would know but me, my friends, and my family. The rest of the trip, the games went pretty similar but I did go deep in two other daily events I played. 37th out of 220 at the daily Aria tourney and 328 out of 1560 at the 3pm Rio Daily. So I cashed in 1 of 3 tournaments I entered and for the first time in awhile felt really good about my ability to play solid tournament poker.

Tuesday morning, I arrive at work feeling good about my game but realizing nobody else really knew that I cashed. With the exception, of course, of my friends and family. That is until a friend of mine at work, who also plays a lot of poker and knew about my cash, sent me a hyperlink starting with the important http://www.wsop. That’s right, they track and report who cashes in each of the three daily tournaments. And there I was, my 5th place finish listed on a PDF from the WSOP Site that shows the daily winners for May 30th. I felt like Navin R. Johnson from the movie “The Jerk” when he finds out his name is listed for the first time in the phone book. In the wide poker world, I was somebody. To everybody else in means nothing, but to me it definitely means something. It is the first of many upcoming cashes in my poker career. Its the first baby step to living my dream. The cherry on top was when “The Hendon Mob” site also reported out my tournament cash. The Hendon Mob is a group of professional poker players that decided a long time ago to create a poker database of all poker players that have cashed in reportable events. They also keep a running total of each poker players life long earnings. Here I was for the first time, listed on their site with my winning totals. In addition, their database will be tracking me for years to come. Assuming this isn’t my only cash… which it won’t be. I won’t let it be. I won’t stop until playing poker is my main job and I am smiling at the final table with a World Series of Poker bracelet in hand.

Until you see me on ESPN… Smile Big and Dream Bigger!

You Read the Dictionary??

27 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by Larry in Dream Actions

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1 year, A. J. Jacobs, dictionary, dream, dream bigger, Encyclopedia Britannica, obstacles, read, smile big, The Know-It-All, value, words

LarryBookWhen I started reading the dictionary it was more about learning new words and taking on a knowledge quest. All I would need to do to complete the task, in just over a year, is read two pages a day… everyday. On the surface that seems really easy but it is actually quite difficult. It has taken me over two years to get through half and has become much more challenging than I expected. Early on I realized that many of the new words I was learning I would not remember. I do, however, still see the value that this project is teaching me. Now I am doing it just to learn about overcoming key obstacles to reaching a difficult goal.

To this day I remember reading long ago A.J. Jacobs’ book “The Know-It-All“. In this book he discusses trying to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica in 1 year. He was able to achieve, what may seem to be, an impossible feat. My impossible feat of reading the dictionary is something I will never give up on until I ultimately succeed. If nothing else, this experience will teach me what it takes to achieve those seemingly impossible dreams. What is your impossible dream? Don’t give up! Go after it! Smile Big and Dream Bigger!

Your Dream Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date

28 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by Larry in Dream Thoughts

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amazing feats, dream, dreams, expiration date, late in life, never too old, old people

old dreamsAs I celebrated my 42nd birthday this month I couldn’t help but be a little sad that I have not accomplished more in my lifetime. I quickly realized, however, that I still have time to make all my dreams come true. That’s because my dream and your dream too, do not have an expiration date. As long as your heart still beats and your brain still functions, you still have time. So with the passing of another birthday I am increasing my focus on achieving my dreams and you should too. Use your next birthday as a springboard into the pool of accomplishment.

Everywhere you turn there are examples of individuals fulfilling their dreams late in life. There is Lucille Singleton from Harlem who started running at 67 and finished her first marathon when she was 75. There is Diana Nyad who after decades of not swimming decided to tackle the extremely challenging swim from Cuba to Florida. After 4 failed attempts, at the age of 64, she successfully swam the route. And there is Genevie Kocourek who was interested in medicine early in life but didn’t have the financial means to pay for med school. She decided to switch career paths much later in her career progression and ultimately achieved her dream of becoming a doctor at the age of 53. These are just a few of the endless examples of ordinary people succeeding at their extraordinary dreams much later in their lifetime. Want a taste of even more examples? Then here is a list of the 25 Oldest People to Accomplish Amazing Feats.

So whether you are 5 or 95, it’s not too early and it’s definitely not too late. Dreams are the milk that does not spoil. The milk does, however, very slowly evaporate. Don’t let your age be a barrier to your dreams. There already are way too many barriers. At 95 or 105, you still have some time to smile big and dream bigger.

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